Well now, technically, there’s no such thing as a non-reader. Unless you’re too young to read or you’re illiterate. Anyone who can read is technically a reader. Everyone does it all the time. You read road signs, directions from maps, your messages, ingredients of a shampoo, tweets and articles. That kind of stuff. But what I really mean by the non-reading folk is those people who don’t enjoy pleasure reading. The kind that considers reading time is not the same as leisure. WHICH IT IS.
Now, don’t go antagonistic on me all of a sudden. Same with anything, non-reading people aren’t all bad. Some are nice and okay and fun but some AREN’T. Let me tell you some non-reading people that I’ve encountered.
1) The Feminists
If reading is a gender, then these people are definitely feminists. They believe in equality. They respect you no matter what and even fight for what you believe in (which is something like “reading is cool”). They might not necessarily agree with you but they value the things you say about reading and books which makes them likeable and nice to hang out with. They’ll even go to the movies with you to watch Mockingjay Part 2! And they will appreciate it as much as they can. Now don’t be sexist. Men can be feminists too. In more ways than one.
2) The Sound Cloud
Sound Cloud people are those people who don’t have time for reading but still craves the adventure. So what do they do? Yep, they listen to us, readers, tell the story from chapter to chapter. And they don’t do it out of respect like the feminists; they really are interested in what we are saying. Like I said, they either don’t have time for reading or the attention span. My best friends used to be sound clouds. Now, they prefer books over my friendship. Some of them may resort to audio books, which are cool too. Sound Clouds are awesome people. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and they are not the reading type, better be a Feminist or a Sound Cloud.
3) The Terra Cotta Soldier a.k.a. the Blank Space
These people are sometimes rude without intending to. So why they called a Taylor Swift song? Because at the mention of a book, I mean you’re not even telling the blank space the whole novel, blank spaces turn into a terra cotta army statues. Have you seen those in the museum? They just stand still and not do or say anything and stare into blank space, completely ignoring what you said. Want to know the worst part? THE FACIAL EXPRESSION. It’s a combination between I’m-trying-to-fight-anger-management-issue-I-seriously-have and I-have-diarrhea-stop-talking-and-let-me-go-to-the-toilet face, like they can’t stand you. It’s not a pleasant view.
4) The Lie to Me
These people may be the worst kind of them all. In order to be included in the conversation, they will lie to you about reading. They will say they have read this and that but the information they give you are either from Goodreads or Wikipedia. These people are super easy to spot. Just ask them if they know Peeves the Poltergeist or any tricky question, really, and TADUH, BUSTED. I will still talk to and respect you if you don’t read. BUT PLEASE STOP LYING ABOUT READING THINGS THAT YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE’NT.
5) The Fake It ‘Till You Make It
This type is sisters with The Lie to Me. But unlike Lie to Me, the FITYMI (wow. That’s a weird acronym) actually tries to read the book, to be included in the conversation. The FITYMI tries really hard to finish the book only to find him/herself actually really bored and reading the last page! AND WE BOTH KNOW, THAT’S A CRIME. You’ll be spoiling yourself good stuff. And FITYMI, the last page is rarely the end of the story, because ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS AND ABOUT THE AUTHOR. Again, we won’t eat you alive if you haven’t read the book.
6) The Audio Visual
The audio visuals are those people who don’t read because they prefer movie adaptations. And ask any booksessed person, movie adaptations are RARELY as good as the book or BETTER than it. THAT IS A SIMPLE CONSENSUS. There are two types of Audio Visuals: A and B
a) AV A
The A is a relative of Sound Cloud, they don’t have time for this activity called reading. But they do like adventures. And besides you told them all about the book already and who’s gonna die and who’s the end game ship. So it’s legal for them to fangirl/boy at the cinemas because they do know that RON WEASLY IS OUR KING.
b) AV B
The B is the more lethargic AV. The one with less imagination too. AV B is the epitome of the word LAZY. Reading to AV B is simply boring. B just can’t follow action scenes in books. So they thank God for movies. They’re not bad people, they appreciate good movies too. If you want a genuine comment about the movie without including your book feelings, AV B is the one you should ask.
7) The Voldemort
These people are so few. In fact, I have only encountered 2 people like this in my life. Obviously, they are the Voldemort in the reading community. These people are not only antagonistic of those who like to read but all sorts of stuff. You could like wearing shorts and they’ll still bully you for of it. They are the ones who have a sad back story as to why they are mean. They insult, shame and bully people because they like reading. Like anyone who reads for fun, should be murdered or known as a slave. They look at us like we’re mudbloods. They are EVIL. And you don’t win a fight over The Dark Lord. Whatever you say, can be and will be used against you. So the best way to win a fight over you-know-who is to not fight at all. Just ignore and avoid them because we all know how things ended up for him.
8) The Secret Agent
These people don’t count as a non-reader at all. Because they just pretend they don’t like reading in order to preserve some cool kid image. Like he’s a member of the baseball team or rugby team and saying that he totally thinks Percy Jackson series is awesome would ruin the macho bravado image he has. It’s sometimes hard to spot these people but here are some signs: They go to the movies alone to watch the latest movie adaptation, they have an e-reader in their phone installed and it’s so rare but one way or the other they would spill something from the book that they shouldn’t know about if he/she isn’t into reading. Somehow they are the opposite of the Lie to Me type.
So there you have it! I had fun writing this stuff and I hope you can relate to them as much as I do. Remember, there are so many kinds of people out there, not just these ones I had written. If we’re all the same, it would be so boring. And because of that we should respect at the same time value our differences. Always put in mind that in order to be respected, be polite to others. See yeah!